


Blue Castle

by Jya, ShatteredEpiphany



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Alternate Universe - Idols, Angst, Anxiety, Depression, Fluff, Forbidden Love, Homophobia, Injury, KPop AU, M/M, Oikawa Angst Fest 2k17, Secret Relationship, Self-Esteem Issues, Timeline What Timeline, character tags will be added as they're introduced, self destructive behavior
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-25
Updated: 2017-08-25
Packaged: 2018-12-19 16:14:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11901396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jya/pseuds/Jya, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShatteredEpiphany/pseuds/ShatteredEpiphany
Summary: Dance is everything to Oikawa, it always has been. Becoming an idol is just the next logical step.It took some time following their debut, but after a demanding and exhausting ride, Oikawa along with his group Seijoh, is finally enjoying their well earned success.Then a name from Oikawa's past surfaces, and he starts to question everything.





	Blue Castle

**Author's Note:**

> Jya: So SE has dragged me into kpop hell. This is the result...

**Chapter 1 - Present**

“Congratulations you guys!”

Oikawa dove at Mizoguchi, their manager, feeling himself crushed against him by the rest of the group jumping in after him. The tears he’d cried during his acceptance speech returned full fledged, and he was fairly sure he heard a comment from Hajime from behind him.

He couldn’t be bothered, as the hugs and cheers and cries continued around him, and he drank in every moment as a though it were a life force.

He felt himself pulled directly into someone’s arms, and he opened his eyes to find Ukai, his choreography supervisor, directly in his face, a huge, rare smile extending nearly up to his eyes. “You were amazing,” he said quietly, so only he could hear. The blonde man kissed him on the forehead, and released him back into the fray.

Those words meant more than most. He prided himself on his dance skills more than anything else. When it came to performing, it wasn’t that singing and leading took the back seat, but dance was where it had all started. Dancing meant the world to him. On top of that, Ukai had let him choreograph this specific routine in its entirety. It wasn’t abnormal for him contribute to the routines, but this one was his. Ukai had simply sat back and let him choreograph the entire thing.

Taking a step back, feeling a bit overwhelmed, he ended up next to Kunimi who looked almost as bored as usual, but Oikawa could tell the win had got to him too. It was as though there was a bright light attempting to break free from the youngest member, but Kunimi was stubborn and kept his mouth clamped down on it, refusing to show any kind of emotion.

“You look gross.” The younger muttered and Oikawa laughed, his hands wrapped around the music show trophy, Seijoh engraved on it. It definitely wasn’t their first, but it somehow felt more special this time. Together with the rest of his band mates, Oikawa had put his soul into this album and music video. It was as close to perfect as it could be.

The sound of a phone ringing distracted him, and he watched casually, wiping the sweat from his brow on his long sleeved shirt as their manager answered his phone. The call was short lived, and as soon as he hung up, he turned his attention back to the group still mobbing each other. More of their production team had arrived now, and even a bottle of champagne had found its way into the mess.

“Interviews in five, guys!” Mizoguchi called. “Drink some water and get ready!”

Damn, Oikawa thought to himself as he subsconsciously kicked his right leg out, attempting to rid himself of some of the stiffness that had found its way into his knee. He really just wanted to sit down and lie across his group member’s laps as they normally did after a long, emotional day such as this. But this occupation didn’t allow much rest.

He caught Iwaizumi’s eye, noting how the smile faded from the other’s face as he saw him stretching. Oikawa quickly turned his attention to the rest of his body, and began stretching his other leg out as well in attempt to hide his slip up.

As soon as Iwaizumi tried to approach him, Oikawa quickly pulled out his phone and pretended to be busy. Being the leader he was in charge of the group’s twitter account, so he really wasn’t doing anything out of the ordinary here, except he knew that the other could easily see through him.

Putting Iwaizumi’s concern and the stiffness in his useless limb out of mind, Oikawa quickly composed a sappy tweet.

_Thank you, royals! We couldn’t have reached number one without you. This means more than you could ever know. Seijoh loves you <3 _

Oikawa grinned as he left the tweet ambiguous, without a signature. He was the only one who would write such cheesy things, so he was sure the fans knew it was him without him signing his name, like the other members usually did when they used the group twitter.

The immediate barrage of tweets of fans thanking him personally let him know that he was correct in his assumption. They really were too smart, he thought and his chest filled with fondness.

He was about to close the app when something caught his eye.

_Did you see the debut performance by Karasuno? That Kageyama guy has some skill!_

The name Karasuno would not have caught his eye, though now that he thought about it, the name did sound familiar, and Blue Castle _was_ set to debut a new group. But it wasn’t the first name that really caught his attention, it was the second.

Before he could linger on it, there was a hand on his back and a voice in his ear.

“Are you ok?” Hajime asked.

Oikawa locked his phone before Hajime could really get a look at it and jammed it into the overwhelmingly tight back pocket of his black leather pants.

“Of course I am, Iwa-chan, we just won first place!” He forced a smile onto his face, hoping it would be enough. He pushed the thoughts from his mind and made himself focus on what was really going on. He spent so much time angsting over things he couldn’t change; right now he had something he could really be happy about. He would worry about the rest later.

“Let’s get some water,” Hajime said, pushing Oikawa ahead of him toward their dressing room.

As if to mock his wishful thinking and attempt and distracting his mind, his knee clicked painfully as he took his first step.

As the individual interviews progressed, he encouraged his younger members to go first so they could shower and eat sooner, electing to last as the leader normally would. By the time he was alone with the interviewer surrounded by a dozen faceless cameras, he felt utterly exhausted, and he knew his burning eyes were likely bloodshot thanks to his overworn contact lenses.

“Congratulations, Oikawa,” the interviewer began, “it was a well earned victory.”

“Thank you, thank you,” he said smiling, pressing his palms together in a slight bow.

“So tell us, how much does this one mean to you?”

“Every performance is different, and every comeback is a unique experience. I would never go as far as to say that one is worth more than another, but I have to be honest when I say that this one was particularly special in a way that I felt like I had so much personally riding on it.”

“Oh? Would you care to elaborate?”

“As it’s been hinted at, I did indeed choreograph the dance number for this one, so at least I know now that when my face is no longer beautiful enough to perform, I will still be able to choreograph,” he laughed, earning a chuckle from the interviewer as well.

“So you confirm it then? That was all your work?”

“Under the supervision of our amazing choreographer, yes. He really let me run with this one and make it my own. I was confident that I could write the best choreography for all of my group members, as I feel I know the four of them better than anyone. So I’m really proud of what this song has accomplished.”

“Incredible, simply incredible. And you shined bright, as always, Oikawa.”

“Thank you,” he said, smiling genuinely. He’d been waiting to talk about this publicly, but he hadn’t wanted to before now. He needed it to succeed before he felt comfortable admitting ownership.

“Speaking of incredible dancing, tell me, did you see Karasuno’s debut performance last night? As Blue Castle’s next group, they’re going to owe some of their potential success to the light you’ve had focused around you guys for the past months.”

He felt his heart skip a beat, and his smile threatened to fall. It was all he could do to maintain it. “Ah, I’m afraid I haven’t seen it yet. I’ve heard great things though!” He forced himself to press on, digging his nails into the palms of his hands, pressing his smile higher up on his face. “We have a strict routine we follow the night before our performances.” A bit of a lie, but so what. “I’ll have to check it out!”

“People are comparing the young Kageyama to you, have you heard?”

Ok, this time his heart definitely skipped at least one beat. He felt his face flush, and all of a sudden the room felt too hot. It was as though his throat had closed up, and he forced a cough. It couldn’t be. I definitely could not be…

“Oh really?”

“Well, he certainly has big shoes to fill if he’s going to be performing in your shadow!” The interviewer laughed, and he forced himself to snicker along with him. “Thanks for your time, Oikawa, and Congratulations.”

“Thank you,” he said, shaking the man’s hand.

He stood up from the stool he’d been half sitting in, feeling the pang in his leg again as soon as it bore his full weight.

He dug his nails into his palms once more, attempting to distance himself from the pain as he made his way around the camera people. Iwaizumi was waiting for him, arms crossed, looking as gross as he felt.

“Short but sweet,” He commented, clapping Oikawa on the shoulder.

“Yeah, thankfully. I’m ready to sleep for a week,” he replied, letting Iwaizumi continue to push him through clusters of people. “Where’d everyone else go?”

“Back to the dressing room. Mizoguchi ordered food so we don’t have to go out.”

“What a saint,” Oikawa said good-naturedly, already feeling himself relax in his best friend’s presence. Iwaizumi hadn’t taken his hand off of his shoulder.

“Sure you’re alright?” He asked once more, a tone of finality in his voice.

“Yeah, I’m ok. We can talk back at the hotel if you like though. You seem worried,” Oikawa commented.

“You seem tense.”

“It’s been a long day. I just need some food, a nice hot bath and a long sleep.”

“Well we have most of the day off tomorrow, so we can relax.”

“Sounds amazing,” Oikawa grinned.

They made it back to the dressing room where the three younger members were already elbow deep in jajangmyeon. He hid a smile watching them inhale the cheap delivery meal.

If the fans could see them now.. He shook his head and got closer to the overcrowded table.

“Matsun I swear if you eat all the tangsuyuk again I will put the freaking worm in your next dance number!” Oikawa wailed.

Iwaizumi finally let him go, and he dove at the chopsticks held in his younger vocalists hands, ignoring the pile sitting in the plastic bag beside them.

“Oikawa you stink! Go take a shower before you soil the food,” Kunimi said calmly, picking at the mandu on the side.

“So rude Kunimi-chan! And I gave you the front line for those beautiful body rolls! I heard the girls screaming your name! You should be nicer to your choreographer!”

“I’m plenty nice to Ukai.”

Oikawa sat up, pouted and crossed his arms. “You really know how to break your leader’s heart!”

“Here, eat some mandu,” Kunimi said, passing the plastic container over to him.

Oikawa’s eyes lit up and he crossed his legs underneath himself, feeling the soreness in his joints as Maki handed him a pair of chopsticks. He dug into the food, feeling like it was his first meal in days.

He could feel Iwaizumi’s eyes on him as he ate. It wasn’t abnormal for him to forget to eat amidst his training, and he’d nearly collapsed during practice on more than one occasion because of it. Sometimes it was more than forgetting though; sometimes he just straight up couldn’t, whether it be due to nerves or just not wanting to feel full and heavy. He moved so much more naturally on an empty stomach. He knew he worried Iwaizumi, but during busy times like this, work had to come first.

“Hngggg this is so good!” Oikawa wailed, putting on a show for his best friend in attempt to ease the anxiety lines on his forehead. “Iwa-chan, what are you eating?” He asked, reaching across with his chopsticks to steal a piece of meat from the container clutched in his hands.

“You’re not gonna like that…” Iwaizumi said as Oikawa popped what looked like some chicken covered in light sauce into his mouth, instantly regretting it. Oikawa felt tears gather in his eyes as the spicy flavour assaulted him.

“Iwa-chan! Why would you let me eat that??”

Iwaizumi just stared at him in disbelief, sighing instead of responding verbally.

Oikawa picked up a glass of water and chugged it, realizing only then just how thirsty he was. The burning of the spice remained until Matsukawa sighed and handed him the peach drink from the other side of the table.

* * *

It wasn’t a long trip back to the hotel, but the lack of noise made it seem longer than it should have felt. Everyone was exhausted. They’d been working toward that day for what felt like months, and probably wasn’t far off. Now that it was over, everyone was crashing.

Oikawa sat in the front seat of the SUV listening to Maki and Matsun snicker about something in the back seat. He was fairly sure that Iwa and Kunimi were asleep in the middle row. He forced his eyes to remain open, his mind reviewing the day’s events.

Once everyone’s interviews were completed, they decided it was a good idea to watch the new group’s debut performance since several of them had been asked about them, and none of them really knew what they were talking about.

Oikawa rubbed at his eyelids, his eyes dry from his contact lenses as he remembered watching their performance. The name Kageyama had not been a coincidence. Sure enough, just as he feared, it was the boy he remembered. He was definitely more of a man now, ripe with Oikawa’s own style.

The young Kageyama had always envied him as a dancer, and it was no mystery where he’d learned most of his rhythm and finesse if you watched closely. The kid was stupid talented, and he managed to make it look like his own, though Oikawa could see so much of himself reflected back in him. So much so that when they’d watched the video on Kunimi’s phone, he felt his entire body tense up part way through the performance when Kageyama had taken center stage. Iwaizumi, who had had his hand on his shoulder at the time, had definitely noticed, though he chose not to voice it at the time. Oikawa knew what was coming when the two older members escaped back to their own room.

The SUV pulled up to the front of the hotel and Mizoguchi turned the lights on. Oikawa rubbed at his dry eyes and turned to the back seat. Mizoguchi looked back as well and saw all four members sleeping, Maki with his head on Matsun’s shoulder and Kunimi drooling against the window. Oikawa laughed and climbed out of the front seat.

“Guys wake up, we’re here,” he said softly, his own throat feeling raw and hoarse. He reached back and squeezed Iwaizumi’s leg, making the other boy stir, wincing as he tried to open his eyes against the light. It made Oikawa smile, despite the ache in his own back. His body really was trying to tell him it was finished. He couldn’t wait to crawl into bed and sleep in tomorrow.

“We could just leave them here,” Mizoguchi suggested as Kunimi crawled out of the car followed by Iwaizumi. Maki and Matsun made no movement to indicate they were alive.

“Wait,” Kunimi said, half awake, pulling out his phone to snap a picture. “Ok, do what you want with them.” The youngest member turned on his heel and headed into the hotel, ignoring the few cameras flashing nearby. This level of quiet was normal for the younger member. 

“Oi idiots, wake up,” Iwaizumi said, reaching back and slapping Matsun on the cheek. Even though he made it sound aggressive, it was gentle and the other awoke without rage.

“Did you guys get enough to eat? Feel free to order room service if you get hungry,” Mizoguchi said as Iwaizumi climbed out of the car.

“Yeah, we’re good,” Iwaizumi replied. Oikawa nodded in agreement.

Oikawa wanted nothing more than to just climb into bed, curl up and turn his brain off. He wasn’t sure it was going to work that way though. He had a feeling that as soon as the silence hit him and he was alone, everything was going to come flooding back.

“Ready?” Iwaizumi asked, sounding as tired as Oikawa felt. Even the pressure from his friend’s hand made Oikawa feel like he was going to collapse at this point.

“Yeah,” he said softly. “Let’s go.”

Iwaizumi didn’t remove his hand from Oikawa’s shoulder, as though he was afraid Oikawa might collapse if he did. He led him up the front steps and toward the elevators, not saying a word until the lift opened before them. By that time, Maki and Matsun were there as well, both still nearly had their eyes closed.

Iwaizumi pushed them all into the elevator and made sure the other two made it to their room before joining Oikawa who had collapsed face first onto his bed.

“Iwa-chan, I’m exhausted,” he whined, face pressed against the pillow so that he was nearly inaudible.

“Go take your contacts out before you fall asleep. I’m going to get a drink from down the hall,” the other said.

Oikawa didn’t move, but he heard Iwaizumi exit the room as the door slammed behind him. He dragged himself up into a sitting position and undid the buttons on his jacket. His body protested at every movement, begging for rest. He knew Iwaizumi was right though, and he peeled himself off of the bed, holding onto the wall for stability as he made his way to the bathroom.

He winced at what he saw in the mirror. His eyes were bloodshot and his eyeliner was smeared. He didn’t remember crying, but it looked like his eyes had teared up at some point in the evening. He looked away, digging for his lens case in his toiletry bag. He popped the lenses out of his eyes, filled the containers with solution and relished not being able to see himself in the mirror. He grabbed his glasses for good measure and put them on top of his head before returning to his bed.

He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled his glasses down onto his nose, looking around the room for his sweatpants. He pulled off his socks and began to struggle to remove his pants, feeling the sweat all but glue the leather to his legs. It felt gross, but it was nothing new.

Just as he had both pant legs around his ankles and he was battling to get them off, the door opened and Iwaizumi returned, two drinks in one hand and the ice bucket in the other.

“Umm, you alright there?” He asked.

“Iwa-chan help! I’m stuck!” He wailed.

“I can see that,” he replied, putting the items down on the desk and seating himself in the chair. “Carry on.”

“Mean Iwa-chan! Getting out of these pants should be an olympic sport! Why do you get to wear baggier pants than me!”

“You’re the one who likes tight pants!”

“Not right now I don’t! Help!”

“Alright relax,” Iwaizumi said, a snicker of laughter in his voice.

Oikawa stopped struggling as Iwaizumi pulled the rolled up pant legs off of his ankles and threw his sweat pants at him. Oikawa scrambled up the bed and slid his legs into his sweatpants, wincing slightly as he straightened his bad knee too quickly.

“Here,” Iwaizumi said. Oikawa glanced up and his friend had a bag of ice in his hand.

“Wha?” Oikawa asked, sounding mildly stunned. He hadn’t voiced his pain once since it had flared up part way through the music show. Tonight had been particularly bad, but he’d still kept quiet about it. He figured a day of rest would do him good, and he was not about to say anything.

“You’re an idiot if you think I haven’t noticed. You hardly got through that performance tonight. I didn’t say anything before because I didn’t want to ruin your concentration, but you need to take care of yourself.” He didn’t wait any longer, setting the ice down on Oikawa’s outstretched right leg, then grabbed a pillow from his own bed and used it to prop the injured limb up.

“Iwa-chan…” he mumbled, watching as the other paced across the room to collect his own sweat pants.

“How long, Oikawa? And how bad?”

“What? I’m fine, Iwa-chan. You don’t need to worry about me.”

“Save it,” Iwaizumi said. “If you think I’m going to fall for that, show me your leg.”

He didn’t move.

“That’s what I thought. Now talk.” His voice was demanding, and Oikawa felt it cut him to the bone. It was all too much right now. His heart rate picked up, and he could hear the blood hammering in his ears.

He could feel the lump growing at the back of his throat, and he didn’t trust his voice to not give way should he try to use his words.

“Tooru,” Iwaizumi said, softer this time.

Then the floodgates were opening, his nose was running, and the tears were leaking from his eyes.

“Shit,” Iwaizumi muttered, pushing himself onto the edge of the bed, close enough to wrap his arms around Oikawa. “I didn’t mean to…” He squeezed himself in behind Oikawa, pulled the other’s glasses off and let him drop his head on his shoulder as the tears came.

“Tooru, talk to me. What’s going on?”

“It hurts, Iwa-chan,” he whimpered into Iwaizumi’s shoulder. Though what hurt more was finally admitting it out loud. As long as no one knew… as long as he kept it a secret… it wasn’t really happening. He’d been so hoping it would just fade out as the first week of the comeback ended and they could get a bit of rest. But the throbbing in the joint now was telling him otherwise.

“It’s ok,” Iwaizumi said, wrapping both arms around Oikawa’s trembling form, rubbing soothing circles into his back through his thin dress shirt.

Oikawa tried to keep himself under control, but he’d reached his limit. The last several weeks leading up to the comeback had been wild, exhausting, exciting and everything in between. Now that it was over and the adrenaline was gone, his body wasn’t taking it anymore. And his mind was feeling the backlash. His head felt cloudy, almost like he’d had too much caffeine without any food in completely exhausted state. He couldn’t force it any further, and it was simply protesting. All he could feel was the pain in his leg and the exhaustion in his body. But then there was Iwaizumi, arms wrapped around him, warm breath on his neck. And it was comforting.

In time, his body stopped shaking and his sobs began to slow, but Iwaizumi stayed.

“You’re burnt out, aren’t you?” Iwaizumi asked.

“So burnt out,” Oikawa managed, trying to sit up. Iwaizumi put a hand on his shoulder to keep him from getting up.

“Stay here,” He said, extracting himself from beneath Oikawa and piling pillows behind him in his place. “I got you a banana milk.”

“Thanks, Iwa-chan,” he said, wiping his eyes as Iwaizumi handed him his glasses.

“Can I look at your knee? Please?” He asked, crouching down beside Oikawa’s bed.

He couldn’t help the frown that crossed his face, but after a couple of seconds he nodded. If anyone was going to know his secret, it might as well be Iwaizumi.

He held his breath subconsciously as Iwaizumi pulled the ice off and gently rolled up his pant leg. They were both greeted by the swollen and bruised joint, and Oikawa had to look away. He hated seeing it.

“How long has this been going on? What happened?” Iwaizumi asked, gently palpating the area below his knee cap.

He winced as Iwaizumi pressed too hard, “I hurt it a long time ago,” Oikawa finally replied, his right arm sliding down his thigh to rest above the joint. “It’s only flared up again in the last month. I thought it would get better…”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Would it have mattered if I did? You think they would have changed anything? No. They don’t need to know.” He’d thought about it a lot, and never once had he even considered telling Mizoguchi. Even on the off chance that he was allowed to rest, he wouldn’t. Especially not now…

“Of course it would matter. You need to get it checked out and make sure there’s no major damage. There’s a difference between pushing through pain and making it worse.”

“No. I’m not saying anything, and neither are you. Ok?”

Iwaizumi pulled his hand away from Oikawa’s leg, and the other quickly pulled his pant leg down.

“Please Iwa-chan, don’t say anything.”

“Please just take care of yourself, idiot.”

“I am.”

“Really? Have you been icing? Stretching? Massaging?”

“Well…. I stretch.”

“What else is going on… you tensed up like crazy while we were watching Karasuno’s debut.”

“I really can’t hide anything from you, can I, Iwa-chan?” He sighed, forcing a soft smile as he massaged the skin above his knee. Iwaizumi plopped the ice bag back on.

“Come sit with me?” Oikawa patted the bed beside him.

“I’m gross; we both really need showers.”

“Do you want me to talk or not?”

“Fine fine,” Iwaiuzmi said, gingerly climbing over top of him and seating himself against the headboard.

“So that dancer in Karasuno, the one that everyone thinks is so great,” Oikawa began, wringing his fingers together.

“Kagen? Or something?”

“Kageyama,” Oikawa corrected. “Kageyama Tobio. We trained together as kids before Blue Castle even existed. He was younger, but the kid idolized me even when when I was 8 years old.”

“So that’s why he dances so much like you.”

“He stole my style. He learned watching me, and his stupid amount of talent brought him to where he is now.”

“Is this widely known?” Iwaizumi asks.

“I wouldn’t say widely, but I’m sure people will figure it out.”

“Then that’s fine, isn’t it? You’re older, you debuted first…”

“But what happens when he surpasses me?”

“Why would you think that?”

“Because he will. Ever since he was a five year old prancing around in tights, you could see his talent. He didn’t have to work as hard as other kids to improve. Everyone saw it. Everyone sees it now. Watch that video again and tell me you don’t see it.”

“So what does he think of you? Is he arrogant about it?”

“Don’t know. I’d heard he got on with Blue Castle a while back, but I haven’t talked to him in years.”

“Does this have anything to do with the fact that you don’t want to tell Mizoguchi about your knee?” Iwaizumi asked, his hand finding Oikawa’s.

Oikawa said nothing, he just stared down at their linked hands. It was comforting, yet at the same time, it made him feel more. Iwaizumi’s touch meant so much to him. They’d been so close since their group had been paired up. Oikawa was the leader, and he was a great one at that; he took care of the younger members, but so often he forgot to take care of himself. Iwaizumi was the one who always saw to that.

“I didn’t know Kageyama was a part of that group until tonight. But yeah, it’s definitely got me more freaked out about getting hurt and having to take time off. It’s why I can’t let it happen. Look at the twitter world right now. Their debut is already bigger than our win tonight. If we’re not trending higher by morning, I’ll be really worried.”

“You shouldn’t though, Oikawa,” Iwaizumi said, moving is hand so their fingers laced together evenly now. Oikawa felt a flash of heat race through his body. “So what, a new group debuts almost every month, especially these days. They’re going to need to do something seriously special to stay in the spotlight. How often does that happen? The Royals are so loyal to us. We have a faithful following, and now we have a new album out. Just because they’re special doesn’t mean we aren’t as well.”

Oikawa sighed. “I know. I know you’re right. I just can’t help… worrying.”

“Well you shouldn’t,” Iwaizumi said, leaning in and kissing Oikawa’s forehead. “I’m going to take a shower. Want me to run you a bath after?”

“Yeah, sure,” Oikawa said, trying to hide his disappointment as Iwaizumi pulled his hand out of his own and disappeared into the bathroom. He immediately felt cold at the loss of the touch, and he rolled over on the bed reaching for his suitcase again. The first thing his hand found was a thick wool sweater, and he stripped off his soggy dress shirt and pulled the warm sweater on.

Then, against his better judgement, he pulled out his phone and opened his video app. He searched up Karasuno’s debut and watched the video again, feeling every ounce of anxiety that had been quelled by his talk with Iwaizumi creep up again.

“Fuck,” he muttered to himself, pulling a pillow over his face.

A few minutes later, Iwaizumi exited the shower, the sound of the bathtub filling drowning the silence in the room.

“You alright?” He asked, lifting the pillow off of Oikawa’s head and brushing some of the stray strands of hair out of his eyes.

He knew his eyes were glassed over, but he forced himself to look up, making eye contact with his friend. Iwaizumi stood there in only a pair of sweatpants with a towel around his neck. His hair was dripping still, and while he also looked tired, he looked damn attractive. It was a nice sight.

“Yeah,” he managed to say, forcing himself to sit up.

“You watched the video again, didn’t you?”

“Yeah,” he admitted.

“Get in the bath, Tooru, but try to keep your knee out. It’ll just inflame it more.”

“Ok,” he said, pulling the ice off and handing it to Iwaizumi, then forcing himself to his feet. It was the balls of his feet and his back that protested more than anything else. He’d been standing way too long today, and he was surprised his limbs were still holding him up at all. Iwaizumi stood close by, shadowing his movements as if he was waiting for him to fall. It made him feel more wounded than he was, but at the same time, it was nice knowing that he cared. Only Iwaizumi was allowed to treat him like this. He was disappointed that he’d let his secret out, but somehow it wasn’t so bad since it was Iwaizumi who knew.

The bath did make him feel better, but he felt even more tired once he climbed out. He was used to feeling sweaty and gross all the time, but having his face and hair clean made him feel rejuvenated and ready to fall asleep for the foreseeable future.

He brushed his teeth and pulled on a pair of clean boxer briefs and a t-shirt before climbing into his opened bed. Iwaizumi was on his own bed with his laptop open.

“Please tell me you aren’t watching Kageyama,” Oikawa muttered, dropping his glasses on the night table.

“Nope, I’m watching us.”

“Oh, why?”

“We looked so tired tonight. And your movements are so labored especially on your right side. You should really get that looked at, Tooru.”

“Let me just see how it is in the morning, ok?”

“Yeah, sounds good. I think Kunimi might be hiding something as well. He looked slower than usual tonight as well.”

“I think he’s just tired. He’s too young to be going through this kind of rigorous training,” Oikawa insisted.

“You should talk to him tomorrow. Just make sure he’s ok.”

“Why me? Kunimi doesn’t like me,” Oikawa said, feeling his face flush. It wasn’t something he liked to admit, but he always got that feeling from the youngest member.

“Of course he likes you, you’re our leader.”

“He’s so mean to me though. I’m pretty sure he respects you more than me.”

“That’s how he shows his affection. I think he’d really appreciate it if you tried to talk to him.”

“You think so? Maybe I’ll try tomorrow.”

“Good plan. I think you should also tell Mizoguchi about your knee.”

“Can we not talk about that anymore?”

“Yeah, alright. You should get some sleep.”

“So should you…”

“Iwa-chan, will you come cuddle with me?”

Iwaizumi looked at Oikawa, an expression of pain, foreboding and disappointment swirling across his face. Oikawa didn’t ask often. He knew he couldn’t. But still, Iwa’s expression was too familiar and it made him feel a bit nauseous.  

“Please? Just until I fall asleep?” He knew he was pushing it, but he couldn’t help it. It didn’t need to be like _that_. He really just needed his best friend right now.

Not that he would complain if it was like _that_.

“You know we shouldn’t.”

“Please it’s been so long. I’m cold and anxious and I just want to be close to you…” He tore his eyes away from Iwaizumi, doing his best to physically portray that all he wanted was a friend.

“You’re such a child,” Iwaizumi said, but closed his computer nonetheless.

“Only Iwa-chan knows the child side of me,” Oikawa said as Iwaizumi stood up, walked down the hall to close the door joining theirs and their younger members room then locked the door. He then climbed onto the bed beside Oikawa, letting him burrow in beneath his arm. “I’m the big scary leader to everyone else.”

“Pretty sure they all know you’re a child too.”

Oikawa wanted to fight back, but he was too comfortable in Iwaizumi’s arms. A part of him wanted to stay awake just to enjoy their proximity, but as the warmth spread through his body, he felt himself drift off into a much needed slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jya: Guys I know nothing about kpop! This was written under the close supervision of shatteredepiphany! But what I do know... is that it's a super intense world full of exhaustion, no breaks, stupid amounts of work and brutal companies governing your life! Based on that alone, I feel like Oikawa fits well *hides from flying trash*  
> If you want to know more bug SE on tumblr or just keep reading along with us! It really is a beautiful angsty world XD

**Author's Note:**

> you can find us @ tumblr  
> [SE](http://mingohomo.tumblr.com/)  
> and [Jya](http://superiortechnology.tumblr.com)  
> comments? requests for the kpop AU? tell us everything here or on tumblr. Or just scream with us... we like that too


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